I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
