I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I see more hoeing in ur future
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
