Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he thought i was a dude.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
