Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
