DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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