Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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