I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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