Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
