I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
