Yo dont text me then not text me
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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