Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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