You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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