Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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