he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
