If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize