awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
