you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
