youre lurking in front of me
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
