if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
