I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
