you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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