oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
