you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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