My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Randomize
