"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
