i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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