she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize