ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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