I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
