Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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