Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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