If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
