Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
