we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
