dude i'm inner monologue high
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize