He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
