Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
