i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
