butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
