you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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