This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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