Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
