Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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