You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
