WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How external is "for external use only"?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
