I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
