Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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