did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize