mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
