Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
