Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
