im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
