whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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