i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
