Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
