just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
