Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
