I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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