there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
