Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
