half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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