if i can run in heels then i can drive
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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