i just wanna soil my oats bro
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
