The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
