i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I woke up under a house in Key West
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
