This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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