also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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