I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
